


When He Came Back

by MarvelQueen6



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amnesia, Angst, Canon Disabled Character, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Smut come later, Multi, Smut, angst in the beginning, slight and brief Sam/Steve, stucky feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelQueen6/pseuds/MarvelQueen6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU! The last thing your soulmate says to you is written on your arm but you won't know until the end, on the brightside there is someone out there for everyone but will you find them?</p><p>Steve has been in love with Bucky since they first met and wants nothing more for him to be his soulmate but what if Bucky joins the army and is believed to be killed in action and his last words don't match up to the writing on Steve's arm? Then, three years later, he turns up alive but he's different. Very different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the prompt list on tumblr and couldn't resist writing some Stucky feels for it, read and enjoy. :)

It was tradition, every Friday night they’d meet up at their favourite bar and complain about their lives. Natasha would rant about her job as a language teacher and about how the kids must be stupid because what they say, when they repeat it back, is nothing like what she said. Clint, Natasha’s boyfriend, would then take over with his rough week and how the kids in his gym class don’t even try but the ones who turn up to his archery club after school has ended were the apple of his eye. Then, there was Bucky who liked his job as a dog trainer and as a volunteer at the local shelter. He loved all kinds of dogs, big or small and every breed imaginable. Plus, he’d often get dates from the people, men or women who brought their dogs but hadn’t found someone they could call their soulmate yet. His job was a dream come true but he had to leave the dogs at the end of the day despite his constant desire to adopt one. Bucky actually wanted to and his landlord allowed pets but his asthmatic roommate and best friend, couldn’t have one. He is the last person, but by no means least, in this circle of friends. Steven Grant Rogers who was a skinny 5’4 artist who loved his job more than any other person who ever lived. On the Friday gatherings, he usually talks about his amazing week more than complain like Clint and Nat. 

“Shut up, Rogers, you love your job.” Nat said with a smirk and a fond eye roll. She’d met him when the pair of them attended college together, he was studying art and she languages. It was through him she’d met Bucky since he and Steve had been friends since they were five years old. The three of them had met Clint later when Steve had joined the archery club which Clint was a part of at college. A few embarrassing incidents later, which Steve was reminded of on a weekly basis, the four of them had become inseparable.

“And you love your job, you just hate the kids, ever thought about being a translator?” Steve asked her over the top of his beer bottle.

“I suppose I know enough languages to do that,” Nat contemplated while she ran her finger down her vodka and coke glass, more vodka than coke.

“You know enough languages so any employer would have to give you a job.” Steve said to encourage her further, she didn’t like to see her miserable.

“How many languages do you know, Romanov?” Bucky asked from his spot next to Steve at their usual booth.

“Umm…ten fluently but another three that I know not as well, so thirteen in total.” She smirked as Bucky looked genuinely horrified at that.

“Fuck me, how do you know all of those languages?”

“A woman needs her secrets, Barnes.” She threw him a wink before finishing the rest of her drink in one whole gulp.

“Don’t look at me, even I don’t know how she knows them,” Clint said throwing his hands in the air in a surrendering motion when Bucky turned to look at him expectantly.

“I’ve known her the longest and I don’t know either but I am sure I know a few curse words in different languages since she mumbles them all the time,” Steve smirked at Natasha which stuck her tongue at him in response. No one knew anything about Natasha before Steve had meet her when they were nineteen, this was almost a decade ago. She was very secretive, even towards Clint who’d been her boyfriend for three years, this had caused a few arguments between them at the beginning of their relationship but now he understood that was just who she was. 

“But you’ve known Barnes for the longest,” Natasha teased while she waggled her eyebrows suggestively. Steve blushed at her implication while Bucky just rolled his eyes, they were used to this. 

“That’s right, Nat, how long is it now? Twenty years?” Clint joined in with a large grin spread over his face.

“Twenty-two, dear.” 

“That’s right, twenty-two years of pulling his ass out of fights and nursing him when he gets sick.”

“Tell me, Barnes, why did you go to your first day at school, look around at all the other faces and then befriend the boy who is the embodiment of the raincloud emoji?” 

“Geez, thanks, Nat.” Steve said sarcastically but he knew it was friendly, if it had been someone else to say something like that to Steve, they probably wouldn’t be alive to tell anyone what happened as  
the result.

“You’re welcome, Raincloud Rogers.” Sometimes though, he wished he was as witty as her but the title usually fell to Bucky, sometimes Clint but not often.

“He’s like my little brother, plus, my soul mate is going to say ‘I knew it, I always knew’ and Steve definitely doesn’t know more than me” Bucky smirked as he wrapped his left arm around Steve and  
give him a one-armed hug.

“But that’s the last thing they’ll ever say to you, you don’t know what could happen decades down the line,” Clint pointed out as he drained his bottle of beer off.

“True, much more helpful if I knew what my soulmate’s first words were to me,” Steve sighed as he leant slightly in Bucky’s hold which he hadn’t released. He leaned in enough to feel comfortable but  
not enough that Clint or Nat saw. That would be annoying.

“And they would be…?” Clint asked Steve, his eyes flicking to Bucky briefly so he knew what he was asking him.

“Dunno, ask me when I find out who my soulmate is.” 

“Come on, Steve, humour us. If it were the first words, what would yours and Barnes’s say?” Natasha pushed leaning on her forearms so she was closer to Steve who was opposite her.

“Mine would say ‘You like gettin’ your ass kicked?’” Steve said doing his best impression of seven year old Bucky.

“And mine would say ‘I had him on the ropes.’” Bucky chuckles remembering seeing the same kid pick on Steve a couple of times but on that particular day, he’d seen enough.

“Awww,” Nat and Clint said in unison which made Bucky throw his head back and laugh and Steve blush. He may be small but he was not adorable.

“That was my Stevie, always saying something stupid.” Bucky said with a fond smile.

“Fuck you, Buck.” He sighed which made Clint gasp in horror.

“Steven, watch your language!” The brought another sigh out of Steve’s small frame before he rubbed his hands over his face in exasperation.

“Did Stark tell you about that?”

“No, he told Pepper who told Nat, she told me.” Clint smirked kissing his girlfriend on the head briefly to show her he was thankful for that story. 

“Great, that’s not gonna go away any time soon.” They all headed home not long after, Bucky and Steve went to their small apartment which was a ten minute walk away and Clint and Natasha drove to their slightly larger apartment further away. 

They all were quite busy people so if they didn’t exchange any more than a few texts over the course of the week, obviously they’d see their roommates, they always had their Friday nights at Fury’s.

~

From Natasha: Are you free?x  
To Natasha: I’m still at the studio but I am free, why?x 

“Knock, knock!” Natasha smiled as she popped her head around Steve’s studio door. He’d been lucky enough to know Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, in college and, despite initial differences, they’d become good friends so when he took over his father’s business as the head of Stark Enterprises, he’d been good to him.

Finding work as an artist was hard but Tony invested in pretty much everything and he’d happened to decide that he wanted shares in the best galleries and art studios in Brooklyn. This had lead to Steve getting a job and studio space to create his art. 

When this first happened, Steve had been sceptical at taking any of it but Tony told him he believed in him and he deserved to be able to do something with it. Since then, Steve had plenty of people, rich people too, asking Steve to sketch them and he even had his first nude drawing in a gallery.

“Hey, Nat.” he smiled.

“This is my apology.” She said handing Steve a Starbucks macchiato and sitting on one of the two couches that Steve had in there.

“For what?”

“For last night, Clint and I took it too far.”

“Nat, don’t worry about it,” 

“I had a little too much vodka and I over-stepped.”

“Seriously, don’t,” He began but Natasha interrupted him by raising her voice over his.

“Steve, I never apologise so let me say it and accept it.”

“Okay, thank you for your apology.” There was a comfortable silence between them for a moment before Natasha broke it. 

“So, not gonna tell him that what me and Clint said was the truth?” she smirked at him and Steve really wanted draw on her face but he knew the consequences would be too serious.

Although he wanted to make her stop, he couldn’t deny the truth to her, he never could. He did love Bucky. He’d loved Bucky for years, pretty much since he’d met him but he’d never said anything. The one time he’d considered it, Bucky had brought Connie, his then girlfriend home and he’d chickened out. It also doesn’t help that Bucky refers to them as his ‘little brother’ because that kind of removes the moment from the air. If it’s there to begin with.

“I can’t,”

“Why the fuck not? You guys have been friends for twenty-two years and we both know Barnes isn’t gonna throw that all away if he doesn’t feel the same.” 

“We live together so it’ll be weird, I can’t.” 

“Okay, you’re loss, Rainbow Cloud.”

“Screw you, Romanov, and if you tell me to watch my language, I will scream.”

“Damn, maybe next time.” 

Natasha left after they’d finished their coffee so she could get back to work in plenty of time and Steve could go back to his drawing. He’d lost his muse as of late so he didn’t have a lot to draw except what people specifically asked him. Original work was becoming less frequent which was frustrating because that was his favourite thing to do.

Long after Natasha had gone, her words were still bouncing around in his head and the longer they stayed, the more sense they made. 

Bucky wouldn’t do anything bad to him but he didn’t want to lose the strong friendship they’d built up over their lives. This is why he really put it off, he’d rather have Bucky as a best friend than not at all. There was also the fact that having soulmates was supposed to give people security that someone was out there for them but as it was their last words, no one ever truly knew until the end. However, Steve telling himself this didn’t deter a part of his mind from speaking up, no one knew until the end so it is entirely possible for Bucky to be his soulmate but the only way to tell would be to speak up and see.

“I’m gonna do it.” He told his reflection. He’d come home and decided to do it. He’d been practising what to say in front of the mirror for an hour and he was ready, now he just had to wait for Bucky to come home.

Home.

They’d bought the apartment for a bargain as it was in a bad state at the time but after a lot of late nights and clothes being destroyed with paint, they fixed it up. It wasn’t large but it wasn’t a shoebox either. There was the main room with their sofa and TV which looked out onto the street below which was helpful as they could see who buzzed their intercom before answering, Bucky liked knowing Steve was safe. Upon entering the apartment it was straight into the living room with the kitchen and a small corridor to the right, the small corridor had a door at the end which was the bathroom, one of the right which was Steve’s room and another door on the left which was Bucky’s. 

It wasn’t much to some people but it was their home.

Steve came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, he pulled his favourite cup out of the cupboard and poured himself a coffee. He took his coffee with him downstairs to collect the mail which had been delivered sometime after he’d come home. The first few letters were the regular things which everyone got, bills, charity letters but one letter out of them all caught his attention. 

It looked official, very official and it was addressed to James Buchanan Barnes. 

Neither of them ever got letters like this.

He placed them on the counter in their apartment with that letter on top. He wanted to open it, badly. He could tell it was important and he felt panicked but he didn’t. He left it and busied himself until Bucky came home.

“Have a good day?” he asked Steve as he picked up the letter and broke the seal.

“Yeah, did you?” Steve was watching Bucky’s face the whole time he was reading the letter. His friend must have not heard him as he didn’t answer, just kept rereading the letter in his hands. 

The silence dragged on and Steve was becoming wearier.

“Bucky, what is that?”

“I, uh, I sighed up for the army a couple of weeks ago,” 

The army.

Bucky was… leaving? 

The army. 

Guns.

Oh god.

Steve’s mind was racing with so many thoughts and feelings that he didn’t realise what was going on until he felt an arm around his shoulders and hear Bucky’s voice.

“Steve, breathe, please,” Bucky begged as he led Steve over to their sofa and sat him down. The pair sat there, Bucky not releasing Steve from his hold, until the latter was calm and could breathe. 

“Sorry…” Steve blushed when he realised he had a panic attack at the thought of the man he loved being in danger. 

“I should be apologising, I should’ve told you before now, I’ll make sure the rent is covered or I can talk to Stark and,” Bucky began to ramble but Steve could feel his eyes begin to sting.

“Bucky, don’t worry about it, I can cover it.” Steve smiled as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep his tears in their ducks.

“You have your medication to pay for too, Steve and that takes priority for you. Or it does for me.” Steve’s heart skipped a beat or two when he heard Bucky’s voice say those words but then what was going to happen dawned on him.

Steve managed to keep himself calm for the evening and act like he was okay with everything but he wasn’t. Steve’s father had died in the military and he would donate money to the local VA whenever he could but the thought of losing Bucky was too much. 

These thoughts plagued him that night and for the next, as a result of this he spent less and less time at his home and more time with Peggy from his work. This allowed him to take his mind off his best friend leaving and avoid Natasha trying to give him a talk about it. He didn’t think he could bear it at the moment. 

Although, that is when it started to go wrong.

Bucky was leaving the following Saturday so they agreed to make the last Friday they would all be together a spectacular one but for the first time in eight years, Steve didn’t turn up. He’d sent Natasha a text and told her he was sorry but he’d made previous plans. They never made plans on Fridays. It was ‘Friends Friday’ as Clint had called it once before they all booed at him and Natasha threw some peanuts at him.

He turned off his phone to avoid any calls from Nat or text messages which he guessed would not be pleasant for him.

“You are acting like a really asshole.” Peggy told him when he told her what he’d done. She was his friend from work and he always trusted her to tell him the truth.

“I know,” he sighed.

“You’re best friend’s leaving party but you’re sat here with me? That’s not the Steven Rogers I know.” 

“He’s going to be so mad with me, they all are.”

“Steve, listen to me, may I be frank?” That sounded like he was not going to like what he was about to hear but he knew that was what he needed.

“I’d rather you be Peggy, I kind of need her right now.” He joked trying to lighten the mood between them but by the expression on her face, it seemed she did not appreciate the humour. “Sorry, carry on.”

“He’s leaving tomorrow, Steve, so, if I were you, I would go home, apologise and tell him how you feel. Then, if he does not share your feelings, you both have time where you don’t have to see each other every day to get over it. If he does feel the same way, you can early await his return and the thought of you will make it easier for him.” She spoke sense, Peggy always did and it’s only one of the many things that Steve loved about her.

“You know what, Peggy? I think you’re right.”

“Good. Come on, I’ll drive you home.” She said sliding off her seat and picking up her keys.

~

“No Steve?” Clint asked and Natasha didn’t miss the way Bucky’s jaw clenched at his name. It had been hard for Bucky, his last week at home for a while and his best friend was avoiding him. He knew he’d upset Steve by not telling him, they told each other everything but he didn’t realise it would affect him this much.

“No, he’d got other plans.” Bucky said before turning their conversation back to what Nat was going to do without someone to bully. She insisted she would cope with bullying Clint and Steve in his place but she would write down any good insults she thought of while he was gone.

Once they’d finished laughing, they descended into silence which Steve would usually fill. It felt strange without him so the realisation of what it would be like once Bucky had gone was hitting them. 

“You know what? Fuck it, I’m gonna say it, I’m really gonna miss you, Barnes.” Clint said with a smile but it was a sad smile.

“Yeah? I might just miss you too, Clint. Maybe even you, Natasha and you know you’re gonna be lost without me.”

“Keep dreaming, Barnes.” Natasha said with a fake look of disgust. She would miss him, a lot but she wasn’t going to say it out loud.

“You wound me,” he mocked, placing his right hand over his heart to feign injury. “I think I’m going to head home to pack.” Bucky added once everyone’s glasses were empty.

“You sure you don’t want one more?” Natasha asked but he shook his head and stood up. He gave them both a hug before turning to leave, he’d barely got ten feet away from the club when he felt someone grab his arm. It was Natasha.

“What’s up? Did I forget something?”

“No, but I forgot to tell you something.” She paused for a second and he nodded to signal her to continue. “I know you don’t like talking about it but Steve loves you, he really does, in every sense and I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, given the circumstances, but he’s gonna be lost without you.” Her voice broke towards the end of the sentence which made Bucky’s eyes widen in shock. Wordlessly, he pulled her into a hug and squeezed her tightly. “Don’t tell anyone I cried though, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“We all love you and we’re gonna miss you so much but Steve loves you a little bit more.” 

“Then why doesn’t it feel like it?” he asked before walking off towards his apartment. 

~

“Bucky!” Steve yelled as he opened the apartment door and looked around. The hall light was on so someone was in and it wasn’t likely to be Natasha or Clint. He repeated his friend’s name as he walked towards his bedroom, he opened to door to see Bucky packing his bag for leaving the following morning.

“Steve, you finally made it.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm and hurt but Steve needed to get this off his chest.

“I’m sorry, so sorry but I,”

“No, you know what, Steve? You’ve been really selfish! Nat was getting your encouragement on changing career plans but when I need you, my best friend, you don’t wanna hear it, why? I love the animals sure but I wanted to do something different and I don’t understand why you’re being like this!” Bucky had stopped packing and was glaring right at Steve now.

“You’re gonna be in danger and you’re my best friend, I don’t wanna lose you so I reacted badly but I am sorry I’m here because I wanted you to know that-“

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything does it? The last time, all four of us would be together for a while and you didn’t show.”

“I lo,” Steve began but Bucky interrupted, his anger increasing as their conversation continued.

“I am so angry at you right now, Steve, just please give me a minute.” He begged and Steve took a deep breath, he couldn’t leave without saying it and this chance wouldn’t come again for a while.

“I LOVE YOU!” Bucky stopped, the anger left his face but he didn’t speak or blink. Steve who was stood nervously, took this as a cue to continue. “I love you so much and I have since you saved me from Gilmore Hodge when we were five years old but you always looked at me as a little brother so I never said anything but I needed to say it out loud to you, just once.” The silence continued for too long. 

“Please say something, Bucky.”

“I… Jesus, Steve, why now?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry,” Bucky took a step towards Steve so he was stood in front of him and placed a hand on his neck and pulled him into an embrace.

“You little, Punk, why did you wait so long? Why?” he whispered into his head while he held him close. They stayed that way for as long as they could before Bucky had to continue packing but Steve helped, he always was better at that sort of thing and Bucky was best at leaving things until the very last minute.

They had a drink together before they went to bed and neither of them mentioned what had happened but it didn’t matter. It had been said.

The following morning, Steve woke up with Bucky and they had breakfast together. It was friendly but there was the lingering feeling in the air of sadness. It grew thicker when Bucky got his bag to leave and gave Steve a sad smile. The latter threw his arms around Bucky and held him tightly.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m away, Punk.”

“You’re taking all the stupid with you, Jerk.” He mumbled fondly into Bucky’s shoulder which shook with laughter. When Bucky pulled away, he pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead before he left. 

He was gone but Steve smiled to himself when he thought of the day he would come back to his home,

~

Time passed more slowly with Bucky gone although their Friday nights continued and they got easier. Now they just made memories which they would tell Bucky about when he came home.

“You can’t tell him that!” Steve protested, his face flushed with embarrassment and also due to the fact he was slightly drunk.

“Oh I will! Tony was all over you,” Natasha laughed at the memory of Tony flirting with Steve at the party he’d thrown, Steve didn’t know what to do so he just kept hiding but this proved difficult when Tony’s home computer, J.A.R.V.I.S kept telling him where Steve was. 

“Nat, maybe you should go help Steve go shopping tomorrow, seeing as he’s struggling,” Clint chuckled and Steve flipped him off. Steve had recently gotten his muse back which meant he’d forgotten certain things and grocery shopping had been one. He’d been mainly living off takeaways and leftovers of takeaways. 

“There’s no point, Bucky was the much better cook,”

“You still need to talk care of yourself, Steve, Bucky will go crazy if we let you wither away to nothing.” Clint was right, Bucky would be crazy angry if he didn’t take care of himself. He specifically told Steve to take care of himself so he would.

“Fine, we can go pick some stuff up tomorrow.” He agreed, holding his hands in mock surrender as the couple high-fived.

“Great, then we can cook something and watch movies.” Clint agreed. 

“What movies?” The three of them shared a knowing look and became to smirk.

“Harry Potter!”

~

Steve was getting ready to go pick up some shopping with his friends when there was a knock at his front door. He opened it to find a man in a uniform stood there, Steve didn’t recognise him at all but the man held out his hand and introduced himself and Timothy Dugan.

“Are you Steve Rogers?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered slowly, still confused as to how this man knew who he was or where he lived.

“I’m a friend of James Barnes, we were in training together,”

“Oh hi, is he okay? Do you have a letter for me?” Steve asked in excitement, Bucky told people about him and this person had sought him out.

“Uh, no, we finished training and had to go on a sensitive mission to find a man called Arnim Zola who had been conducting human experiments. While we thought we had the element of surprise, they knew we were coming and began shooting. He and several others didn’t make it out and they weren’t recovered, I’m sorry, so sorry.” Steve couldn’t breathe. “He talked about you a lot and we were very good friends so I thought I’d tell you personally. I am so sorry for your loss.” Steve didn’t hear any of the last part the man had said, all he could hear was ‘He didn’t make it’ echoing around in his head like a scream in a cave but instead of getting fainter, it only got louder.

“Thank you for coming to find me and tell me personally.” Steve said but his voice was filled with pain and it was cracking. 

Steve was cracking.

His heart was broken.

Not only was one of his last memories of Bucky, partially an argument but he wasn’t who he was meant to be with. Bucky Barnes wasn’t his soulmate.

“It’s fine, here’s my number in case you want to talk or somethin’. I am so sorry, again.” Steve took the paper and thanked him. Once the door was shut, he placed the number on the table and went into Bucky’s room.

It still smelt of him, he lingered in the air and he hoped he always would. There was the photo of the two of them as kids on his bedside table as well as one of him, Bucky, Natasha and Clint.

He had to tell them but he couldn’t.

How could he?

He walked over to Bucky’s wardrobe and pulled out his leather jacket, it was his favourite possession in the world. Slowly, Steve slid it on and wrapped it around him. It didn’t fit, it was too big by several sizes but that didn’t matter. He then slid onto Bucky’s bed, pulled a pillow to him and wrapped his arms around it as he inhaled deeply. 

He faintly heard the door open and two voices fill his apartment but he couldn’t move.

“What the fuck, Rogers? I know you’re missing him but this is ridiculous.” Nat said as she approached the bed but when she saw Steve’s expression, she knew something was wrong. “Steve…?”

“He… a man came… Bucky had his first mission…” he trailed off but his shoulders began to shake which told the couple all they needed to know about the end of that sentence. They shared a glance before removing their coats and shoes to lay on the double bed with their friend. Natasha curled up behind Steve and Clint behind her. Not a thing was said but there were sobs coming from all three of them so they just held each other until they feel asleep with Bucky around them.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years later and everything seems to be fine but then some kind of miracle happens...

3 years later…

The few first months had been hard, really hard, on all of them. Steve had been inconsolable for a long time, he’d slept in Bucky’s room and sometimes still does. It was where he felt closest to Bucky, somehow, it was like he was still there for Steve like he used to be. Natasha had even caught him talking to pictures of Bucky a lot but she never made a comment about it. Even she and Clint did it to the photos they had of him. 

Now, three years after he had died, Steve still hadn’t cleaned out his room, it didn’t feel right to get rid of anything that meant something to Bucky. 

His Bucky.

Steve awoke one morning, much like any other morning to him, with one of Bucky’s shirts in bed with him and that lingering hole in his chest. Everyone told him that time healed all things which, to a certain extent, it did. He no longer cried but he always missed him. 

That morning he showered and dressed in a pair of jeans with a light brown coloured shirt and a navy blue jacket. The air outside was chilly but it was not cold enough for a large coat but a thick jacket kept away any colds he may contract. His sickly body still didn’t handle infections or illnesses very well so he did his best to keep them away.

He stepped into the autumn air and sighed. It was his usual routine to go down to the local VA and make a small donation. He sometimes saw Timothy Dugan there, who insisted he call him Dum Dum, and a few others who served with his friend. They were all part of a unit called the Howling Commandos which had lost half of its members, Bucky included. They told him what Bucky was like and how he talked about him. Bucky thought a lot about him and told them lots of stories about him, mostly embarrassing ones but it was nice for Steve to hear them fondly once again. 

“Back again?” A man said from behind him making Steve turn to see a familiar face, Sam Wilson, stood behind him. Sam had approached him after the first few times he saw him and introduced himself. 

“Usual time, isn’t it?” Steve asked with a small smile and a half shrug. 

“I suppose it is.” There was a small silence between them which Sam broke after a moment or two. 

“Would you like to grab some coffee, if you’re not busy?” Steve wasn’t busy. His employers allowed him to have these two days off a month as they were the only days he ever took from his vacation time. Sam was a nice guy and attractive so Steve didn’t see any harm in going for a coffee. Sam was wearing a dark blue pair of jeans which emphasised his ass nicely and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. To complement the outfit, and every other outfit he wore, was his smile. There was something about this smile that made Steve smile and feel a burst of warmth in his chest.

“Coffee sounds great.” Steve smiled and the pair of them headed out of the centre and towards the Starbucks on the corner. It was a comfortable silence that they walked in until they reached their destination. Sam insisted on buying the coffees as he’d been the one to invite Steve and after much protesting, Steve allowed it and told Sam his usual, a caramel macchiato. 

While his friend bought the coffees, Steve found a two seater table by the window for them to look out on. This particular Starbucks was usually quite busy but it seemed today was quieter as Sam wasn’t as long as either thought he would be collecting their drinks.

“So, do you mind me asking why you come so often?” Sam asked after he’d stirred his coffee and put in his sugars.

“My friend, he died three years ago and so did my dad when I was a child. Also, the work done there is great and I want to help.” 

“You say friend but it sounds like something more,” Sam said with a sad smile like he understood Steve’s pain.

“I wanted him to be my soulmate, I really did but in the end it wasn’t meant to be, I guess.” Sam turned his arm over to show Steve the writing on his arm which had faded slightly, it wasn’t uncommon when someone’s soulmate died for the writing to fade which acted like a constant reminder that they’d lost someone dear to them. There was a small chance that you may not find your soulmate anyway, there were over seven billion people in the world so it was near impossible but to lose them and have a constant reminder must be torture.

On Sam’s arm, the words ‘Be happy, for me’ had faded but were still slightly visible if someone looked hard enough.

“I’m so sorry,” Someone so young losing a soulmate had to be difficult and Steve couldn’t imagine what it felt like when losing Bucky had been hard on him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” 

“Do you mind me asking what happened to them?” Sam stared out the window for a moment in thought before he answered.

“I met Riley when we signed up for the army, given how busy we were, I didn’t give much thought to us being anything more than friends but one day we clicked. Everything changed and I realised how madly in love with him I was.” He paused for a moment, licking his lips and taking a deep breath. “We were in the air, on a mission, when he was hit and as soon as he went down, I knew. I knew it when I held him in my arms, I whispered ‘you are my everything’ and he told me to be happy, for him. I was so caught up in grief I didn’t even realise what we’d said or what it meant until later.”

Discretely, Steve wiped away the tear which was strolling down his cheek while Sam winkled his nose to will away the tears in his eyes. Sam had been through so much and he was one of the nicest men Steve had ever met. 

Life really wasn’t fair.

“After my second tour, I was honourably discharged and finished my degree in psychology so I could become a councillor for the VA as well as helping out in any way I can.”

“You’re an amazing man, Sam.”

“Nah but you keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna blush,” The pair of them chuckled and began getting to know one another properly. They shared fond childhood stories and of stories which involved Riley and Bucky. They also had a lot in common with one another, they both liked comics which led to a full hour long debate on whether Spiderman needed another reboot or not. Sam also said he wanted to see Steve’s work sometime, he didn’t know much about art but he could always appreciate a good piece when he saw it. When they parted ways, they exchanged phone numbers so they could arrange to spend some time together again, possibly going to see the new Jurassic World movie which they both shared a love for.

On his way home Steve was smiling, a smile so bright it hurt his face but he couldn’t stop. Sam could never and would never replace Bucky but he could be a great friend.

“Stop! Please!” Steve turned his head to find a man being cornered in an ally way by a much taller and bigger man. The smaller man was cowered in a corner with his hands shielding his face but from what Steve could see he had a small amount of blood on his face, presumably from being hit by his attacker.

“Hey!” Steve yelled before he could stop himself.

When they turned to look at him, he could almost hear Bucky in the back of his head telling to not to do anything stupid or asking him whether he enjoys being beaten. Not matter how scrawny he was, Steve Rogers could never allow someone to be hurt, not when he could help.

“Fuck off, Shorty, before you get hurt.”

“You gonna make me?” he asked as he took a step further into the alley way which was to the right of his apartment building. Another ten feet, if that, and he would be at his front door. Away from any danger but this man was a bully and Steve hated bullies. 

He always had.

“Last chance, kid.” Another thing Steve hated was being called ‘kid’, he was a thirty-two year old man which did not change because he was small and skinny. 

Steve threw the first punch and while the attacker was incapacitated, he urged the cowering man to flee. He watched the man run out the alley way just before he felt a punch to his stomach and the air leave his lungs. Steve leant against the wall to catch his breath and just managed to move out of the way to avoid another punch which he saw coming out of the corner of his eye. The attacker’s fist collided with the wall and let out a blood curdling crack to announce the hand’s broken fingers.

“Fuck!” he shouted clutching the broken hand to his chest, his dominant fighting hand was now incapacitated so Steve turned to walk away. He’d took no more than one step when he felt a hand curl into the back of his jacket, yank him backwards and onto his back. The assailant stood over him with this wounded hand by his side and his foot moving quickly into Steve’s side. 

“Had enough?” He spat in Steve’s face as he lifted him up with this broken hand, with no emotion, as if he felt nothing before pulling back his good hand to punch him. Expecting the fist to collide into his face, Steve squeezed his eyes shut and inhaled deeply. Although it never came.

“Sorry, that’s my raincloud,” Clint was stood behind the man, hold the brute’s wrist in his hand with a strong enough grip that his own knuckles were white. He yanked the man backwards and threw him up against the wall and held him there with one hand while helping Steve to his feet with the other. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Clint wasn’t convinced by that answer as his friend grimaced and held his stomach.

“Get the fuck out of here,” he said as he threw the other man towards the exit. He made sure, the man was gone before turning to Steve. “What happened?”

“He had some guy cornered,” Steve began to explain but Clint cut him off with a frustrated growl.

“Jesus, Steve! You still pulling stunts like this?” Clint asked throwing Steve’s arm around his shoulder and walking towards his apartment.

“I’m fine, I can walk by myself,” Steve protested but made no effort to pull away from Clint’s help. They made is back to the flat a few minutes later, upon entering they found Natasha rummaging in the cupboards. She was crouched down and began speaking when she heard the door shut.

“’Bout time you got here, what took so long? Clint’s on his way and I thought we could do something together,” she finished her sentence just as she stood to see Clint sitting Steve on one of the stools near the counter top. “Fucking hell, Rogers,” she exclaimed before turning to Clint as a cue for him to explain.

“He got into a fight trying to right the world’s wrongs,” Clint said disapprovingly but the look on Nat’s face was a whole lot more than disapproval.

“Are you kidding me?” She began in an eerily calm tone but he didn’t miss the undertone of complete rage in her words. 

“I was trying,” Steve began to defend himself but Natasha cut him straight off without allowing him to continue.

“Trying to what? You don’t think we, all of us, have been through enough? I thought you’d grown the fuck up, Steve, and out of this habit of putting yourself in danger. You’re thirty-two years old! It’s irresponsible and downright inconsiderate.”

“Inconsiderate?”

“Yeah, what would we do if we lost you too?” her voice broke a little on that last word which made a wave of guilt crash over Steve and Clint clench his fist tightly.

“You’re not gonna lose me, Nat,” he replied weakly in a small voice.

“You don’t know that, Steve! People in this city can be crazy and you don’t know who you’re messing with! Do you not watch the news? Diplomats all over the world have been dropping like flies and there’s been an attempt on the President. Twice. Yes, I am more worried because you are small, not helpless, but small and what would Bucky say if I let anything happen to you?” 

The silence between all three of them was deafening. Natasha stared at Steve expectantly and Clint just stared out the window. It lingered until Steve broke it.

“I’m sorry, so, so sorry,” Steve cried and Nat pulled him into a hug. She’d been strong through the months after Bucky’s death and she never really discussed it. Now Steve understood that she was hurting and it made him hurt too. 

Nat placed her cheek on Steve’s head before reaching out to pull Clint into their embrace. They often hugged like this, ever since that night on Bucky’s bed where they all held one another, it had become a common occurrence.

Sometimes, you just needed a friend.

~

“It’s a mad world.” Peggy sighed as she placed her newspaper down on the coffee table, she’d offered to come and stay with Steve for a couple of days while Clint and Natasha went on holiday to Budapest. The couple had their first holiday there as a couple all those years ago and have gone back once a year since. Despite, Steve saying he didn’t need a babysitter, Nat and Clint weren’t inclined to agree so before they went they gave Peggy a call.

“What is?” Steve yawned as he joined her on his sofa. She’d offered to sleep on the sofa but Steve had her take his room while he stayed in Bucky’s.

“Another politician has been taken out.” She sighed motioning to the paper in front of them.

“Again?”  
“Yes, again.” They pair resumed drinking their tea and sharing a plate of toast which Steve had made for them. In the years since Bucky’s passing, Steve had learnt to cook, not just toast but he could now do so without almost burning down the kitchen. 

Progress.

“So, shall we cook tonight or shall we go out?” 

“Hmm, I do love your cooking, Steve, it’s improved a lot since we met but nothing will be as good as Barnes’s,” Peggy stopped and looked down when she realised what she was about to say.

“Peggy, it’s been three years, I’m not going to descend into a puddle of tears if you talk about him.” Steve said with a fond smile. “And, I know what you were going to say, you were going to say Bucky’s cheesecake was the best thing he ever did.”

“Oh,” she said thoughtfully while dragging out the ‘O’ sound. “His cheesecake was spectacular but I was actually going to say his carbonara and homemade garlic bread was the best thing ever.” 

“How could I forget? You raged about it for months afterwards, if I remember correctly, he cooked you it so many times afterwards because you wouldn’t shut up about it.” Steve laughed and Peggy looked offended.

“Hey! That is an over exaggeration, I just appreciated his food and made sure he knew it.”

“Oh, well all knew it.” He chuckled putting extra emphasis on the ‘all’ part of the sentence. Their day continued in the same matter, they laughed and joked and watched a lot of films. When it came time to go out for their dinner, Steve suggested somewhere with pasta so Peggy could have carbonara but she laughed at him before telling him Bucky had ruined that dish for her forever.

Eventually, they settled on going for Indian food. Peggy had her usually jalfrezi and Steve stuck to his korma. They shared a garlic naan, mushroom rice and Bombay potatoes in the middle of their table. They also decided upon sharing some wine, which, when requested, Steve got asked for I.D. Peggy assured him many times he didn’t look like a child before telling him that the waiter’s face when he saw how old Steve really was, was the highlight of her day.

The fear and shock was hilarious.

“You enjoyed that way too much,” Steve smiled as they stepped out into the autumn air for the journey back to Steve’s. It took a while for everyone to stop saying Steve and Bucky’s but they’d stopped eventually, even though Steve said it would never stop being Bucky’s home.

“I’m sorry, Steve but a thirty-two year old man being asked for identification to buy alcohol is funny.” She laughed as they fell into step beside each other.

“Yeah, yeah.” He agreed, they fell into a comfortable silence until Steve broke it. “So, next week sometime, when we both have a day off, maybe we could start cleaning out Bucky’s room?” Peggy was stunned into silence for a moment, for the first year everyone had agreed to leave his room as it was and after the two year anniversary they’d offered to help, everyone had. Tony had even offered to have Pepper come and do it for him if he prepared a list of things he wanted to keep but Steve had thanked him and insisted he would do it eventually. He had meant it at the time but there never seemed to be a right time for him but he knew it had to be done eventually. Maybe, he could even put an advertisement out and find a roommate.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Nat and Clint will most likely help too and we can all keep something, if we want too but it needs to be done.” 

“Of course I’ll help you.” Peggy smiled wrapping her arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulling him to a small hug.

They walked up the stairs as to his apartment to see the door open a crack, the door was splintered so someone had broken in so it wasn’t Nat or Clint, who were on holiday anyway. Peggy gave Steve a small look of fear and Steve gulped in response. They stayed perfectly still and listened, there were sounds of rummaging and banging the in apartment like whoever was in there was looking for something.

!BANG!

The loud bang echoed down the corridor and was followed by a grunt of pain. Steve looked to Peggy who was pulling out her mobile to call the police but Steve had other ideas. He stepped around her and pushed the door opened further. The TV was untouched but when he turned to the kitchen the cupboards were open and a few dishes and plates were smashed on the floor. 

Steve had nothing of worth in this house, obviously, Bucky’s room and possessions meant something to him, but none of that could be sold by anyone for money. The only other thing he had was the Xbox which remained untouched in the corner along with a stack of games.

Peggy was in the apartment beside Steve now, informing him that the police were on their way. Steve shook his head and furrowed his brow. He went towards his room and saw blood smeared along the wall outside of the bathroom. Although the bathroom door was shut, he could see the light from underneath the door.

Someone was in there. 

He leant forwards to grip the handle but Peggy grabbed his arm and shook her head violently.

“Steve, no, the police are on their way.” She said in a barely audible whisper.

“They’re on their way so it doesn’t matter, does it?” he said in the same tone of voice. He didn’t wait for her response, he just leant forwards and opened the door.

“Oh my god.” Steve gasped when he saw what was inside. Blood drops dotted the floor and lead to Steve’s best friend, his presumed dead best friend, sat on the floor against the shower with the first aid kit half in the sink and on the floor. Bucky’s head a slumped back and if he was sleeping, he wasn’t dead, Steve could tell as much as his chest heaved rapidly. 

Bucky looked different, so very different. His hair was long, a lot longer than it was before and he also had a dark shade of stubble. Although, the thing that stood out most was his left arm, it was resting on the ground beside him but it was a prosthetic. It was metal from what Steve could see and it had to go at least to his shoulder as his shirt had short sleeves and the metal continued up his arm until it was no longer visible. His bottom half was in tight black trousers and boots which had buckles on, if it wasn’t the shock of this whole situation, Steve would think he looked hot.   
But his appearance wasn’t the only thing that stuck out, Bucky’s other hand was pressing a tea towel to his stomach which was bleeding rather profusely. His faded green shirt was soaked through with the red substance and there was a small puddle beside him.

“Bucky,” Steve cried crouching beside him and placing his hand over his to apply pressure to the wound. “Peggy, call an ambulance.” She’d been stood behind him the whole time with the same feeling and look of shock. 

“Right.” Peggy ran out of the room to call the ambulance while Steve stayed with him.

“Bucky, please wake up, don’t leave me again.” Steve cried, the tears making their way down his cheeks as he kept a firm hand over his best friend’s to stop the bleeding. The feel of his friend beneath his hand was the best sensation he had ever felt, it was what he had often dreamed of and woke up the next morning to be disappointed but he wasn’t this time. 

Bucky was alive and in front of him. He was back and in their home one again. 

It was a miracle.

Steve stayed by his side while the ambulance crew came and during the whole ride over to the hospital. Peggy had told him she was going to follow in her car and call Clint and Natasha before coming to find Steve. She hadn’t been able to stop her own tears once she’d gotten in her car. Bucky was home, they’d all mourned for him and now he’d come back to them.

But something told her as she sat in her car, wiping her eyes that this wasn’t over. Now Bucky was home it didn’t mean they would all have their happily ever after because no matter how much she wished for it, nothing was going to be the same as it once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the amazing response, what did you think to chapter 2? Also, if anyone in interested in being my beta for this story, that would be great :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Clint return, Bucky wakes up and Peggy gets a surprise.

Peggy arrived at the hospital twenty minutes or so after Steve had. She climbed out of her car and pulled out her mobile to call Clint and Natasha. She paced back and forth as she waited for Natasha to pick up the phone. This wasn’t exactly something Peggy wanted to do over the phone but she couldn’t exactly get on a plane to break it to them in person.

“Come on, come on,” she muttered as the dial tone continued but there was no other answer. Although she knew she had to, she had no idea what to say to them as she wasn’t sure she believed it herself. 

“Hello?” A groggy voice from the other end came through and Peggy sighed with relief. Now she had Natasha on the phone her mind raced with several ways to begin this conversation but none of them seemed to be right. Afterall, Natasha was Bucky's best friend, next to Steve, and Peggy knew her well enough to know that she wasn't going to take this well. She had thought about not telling them until they knew more or whenever they come home but there was the lingering fear that the pair of them would be furious if they kept it from them so they had to be told.

“Nat, is there any way you can get a flight back? Soon.” Of all the ways Peggy could've began this she went with the one which stuck the most fear and mentally chastised herself while she waited for her friend to respond.

“Peggy, where’s Steve?” The way Natasha immediately went to Steve’s safety spoke volumes about how much trouble he got in and in any circumstance it was most likely Steve. 

“Can you get a flight?” Peggy was interrupted by a much more awake Natasha on the other end.

“Where the fuck is Steve?” Natasha shouted down the phone making Peggy hold the phone away from her ear. Peggy closed her eyes and sighed before she spoke. 

Now or never.

“Steve is fine, Natasha but James is back.” There was silence on the other end which told Peggy that Natasha was either angry because she thought this was a joke or she was trying to process. It turns out she believed the former.

“You called me on my vacation for this?” 

“Nat, I’m not kidding. He’s back, me and Steve went out for a food and,” Peggy was cut off by the line going dead, Natasha had hung up on her. It was completely understandable but she needed to get them home. She tried Clint’s phone next and he answered much quicker.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Carter?” he shouted down the phone and she took a deep breath. She’d been on the received end of this discovery early on but seeing it with her own eyes made it easier to believe than hearing it over the phone. Three years was a long time for someone to be gone before magically resurfacing. Obviously, there was an explanation and a reason for it but it wasn’t likely they were going to know what it was until Bucky told them himself.

“I know how this sounds because I couldn’t believe it either but it is true. He is here, Barnes is at the hospital and I know he and Steve will need you.” She shouted back, she didn’t really like yelling but they needed to hear it. Another silence descended on the other end which lasted for a while, almost too long. The silence was broken by some muttering from the other end which was presumably Clint and Natasha discussing what had been told.

“You’re serious?” Natasha scoffed in the background which said all to Peggy about whether Natasha believed it yet or not.

“Yes, please, come back as soon as you can, we are at the hospital.”

“Yeah, we will.” He agreed before they ended the call. Peggy then turned her mobile off due to hospital policy and headed towards the emergency room. Although Bucky was her friend too, she never went on their Friday nights because that was their thing from before they met her but she would join them for other outings, movie days and birthdays. They’d also met through Steve and she too had took Bucky’s passing hard. When Peggy looked back on how she and Bucky met, it always bought a smile to her face.

Flashback

“Hey guys,” Steve smiled as he approached his friends with Peggy in tow. He invited her out with them and made them all promise to be on their best behaviour but that rarely worked out for him. When he'd told them to be on their best behaviour, Bucky and Clint had given a mock salute which already told Steve that they were not taking him seriously and they were full of absolute shit. Natasha was mock offended at his insinuation that she didn't behave herself but she then agree that she would try. It did make Steve feel slightly better that Natasha would help keep the other two in line but he knew once they had a few drinks, Natasha would betray him. He’d also warned Peggy to pay no attention but she assured him she could take care of herself.

“Hey,” 

“Guys, this is Peggy. Peggy this is everyone,” He motioned to each and introduced them one by one before they sat down with them. Peggy had been subjected to multiple questions about where she came from, what she did, what she liked and how she knew Steve. She’d been more than happy to answer them and explain how she’d met Steve. He’d dropping all of his things and a few had scattered near her. It was a rather general story but Peggy found the way Steve kept apologising to her for the next two days very endearing. She also loved how he pointed out to her all the alleyways, car parks and roads in which he'd been beat up on.

“That’s my Steve, always apologising.” Bucky had remarked fondly before turning his gaze to Peggy. “I am very thankful he did because you are stunning,” So it began. Steve had expected it but actually seeing it hurt a little. Bucky had his arm around Steve from when he called him 'my Steve', obviously as a term of endearment but Steve felt entirely different about it. Bucky was a flirt and insisted that was how he was going to find his soulmate. It was most likely true.

“Charming; does that usually work on girls?” Peggy asked leaning forward on her chair as if she was challenging Bucky to a battle of wits which Steve knew she could win; easily.

“I’m just saying you are very beautiful,” Bucky said with a small wink. Peggy rolled her eyes as she thought for a moment on how to respond.

“Give me a nickname.”

“What?” Bucky asked with frown and Natasha and Clint seemed equally confused by the question.

“A nickname, in fact you can all give me one.” 

“Alright…” Clint said sceptically but shrugged anyway.

“I wanna see where this is going.” Natasha said turning to her new friend. They all thought for a moment on something that would suit her. “Got it!” Natasha said snapping her fingers. “Not very imaginative but that never has been my strong suit but I’m going with Red. The colour suits you and so does the name.” She looked very proud of herself as she watched Peggy mull the name over. It was true, the colour did suit Peggy and was joint first with blue as her favourite colour. That evening, she was wearing a knee length deep, red dress with matching shoes and lip stick. Her hair was half pinned up and she had gold earrings which complimented her outfit perfectly. 

“I like it,” she smiled before turning her attention to Clint.

“I call everyone by their last name so I’m gonna go with, Carter.” Peggy nodded before turning back to Bucky who was still concentrating. Steve had already called her ‘Peg’ on a couple of occasions she already knew what his answer would be. 

“Nope, I got nothing.” He said giving his head a small shake making everyone erupt into laughter.

"Smooth, Barnes." Natasha laughed over her beer, Clint was also laughing at Bucky's failure but Steve just shook his head.

“So, why nicknames?” To answer Natasha’s question by rolling up her right sleeve to show them her soulmate mark which read ‘You are something special, English.’ 

“Whoever my soulmate is gives me the nickname ‘English’ so I usually ask it to see.” Peggy smiled as they all looked with understanding faces.

"That's simpler than constantly wondering if your partner is your soulmate," Natasha smiled as she inspected the writing on Peggy's arm.

“You know, I was just about to say that.” Bucky said but everyone booed him and he placed his hand over his heart to show he was wounded.

"Bow out gracefully, Barnes, please." Natasha pleaded while Bucky took the shot in front of him and shook his head.

“People can still have fun while they're waiting for their soulmate, I do it all! I go to parties, hook up and go dancing, so what’re we waiting for?” Bucky asked again as he winked playfully at her. Again. 

“The right partner.” 

“Steve, thank you for introducing me to my new best friend.” Natasha said pulling Peggy into a one armed hug. From then on she’d joined them a few times for coffee and movies. Also, despite Peggy making it clear, Bucky had asked her on a couple more dates before finally giving up. It was entertaining for Clint and Natasha but Steve mostly found it embarrassing that Bucky kept trying and Bucky just didn't feel anything at all. It was one of the things Peggy enjoyed about Bucky, that he knew how to enjoy himself and didn't really care about others thoughts. 

End of Flashback.

“Steve,” she whispered as she sat beside him and put her arm around him. He didn’t really have a readable expression, he was just staring at the floor with his elbows against his knees.

“Have you called them?” 

“I have, Barton said they’ll be here when they can.” Just as Peggy was about to ask Steve if he wanted a drink, a doctor came through the doors and headed to them. He was ripping his latex gloves off and they both tried to read his expression for any signs that their friend didn’t make it but his face gave away nothing.

“Are you here with James Barnes?” Steve stood up quicker then Peggy could register and began quizzing the doctor on Bucky’s condition. Steve was asking so many questions in the same breathe his chest began to feel tight but he didn’t care or stop because he needed to know. He had his inhaler with him for if it went to far but it eased off as he took deep breaths.

“He’s stable, he’s not out of the woods just yet but I believe he’s gonna make it.” Steve thanked him before asking to see him. “You can see him but you’ll need to provide some information first,”

“I can do that, Steve, you go to him.” 

“Thank you.” He smiled as the doctor led him to the room where they were keeping Bucky. Obviously, Bucky wasn't awake and the doctor said it could be some time before he did wake so it was just Steve sat beside him, holding his hand in the other. Bucky's prosthetic was laid gently on his stomach and Steve ran his hand over the cold metal in wonder but kept a firm grip on his right hand so, if Bucky could feel it, he knew his best friend was there for him. He sat there for as long as he could while he told Bucky stories of the past three years and what Natasha and Clint had been up to. The doctor's informed him he could only have a few minutes so he was determined to enjoy them with him and for every single minute, he held onto his friend.

Once Steve had disappeared from sight Peggy turned to the nurses station and asked the one behind the bench if she could have a file to fill out for James Barnes. She knew enough about Bucky to provide the right information which gave Steve time with Bucky before they were asked to leave. Visiting hours had finished hours ago but given they’d come in under such circumstances they’d been allowed a few minutes with him which Peggy had been more than willing to give to Steve.

“Here you go,” the chipper girl behind the bench smiled, she had blond hair which was curly and stunning bluey-grey eyes. Although it had to be gone eleven in the evening and she was, most likely, covering a night shift, her smile was beautiful and bright. Peggy believed without the lights in the hospital this woman’s smile could illuminate the whole thing all on its own.

“Thank you,” Peggy’s pen began scrawling across the paper and she filled in all the details that were needed. While she did, she stole a few glances of the nurse who was too busy filing and smiling at everyone that she didn’t notice. Thank the heavens. Once she finished filling in the relevant information, Peggy handed her back the form with another thank you.

“No problem, Margaret.” She smiled as she checked the paper that the woman had handed back to her and Peggy decided her voice was beautiful, almost angelic.

“Just Peggy is fine.”

“Nice to meet you, Peggy, I’m Angie.” She held her hand out which Peggy shook as she suppressed a shiver. Her hand was soft and it felt like it fit perfectly with her's. Just as Peggy was about to say something like how perfect Angie was Steve reached her side and saved her from the mortification. Quickly, she said goodbye to Angie and walked out with Steve trying not to let that one meeting effect her too badly.

The whole way home he said nothing but that was to be expected. Hours ago he was talking about clearing out Bucky’s room but now he was back and alive. Even after they went back inside the apartment he said nothing about it, just muttered goodnight and went into Bucky’s room. Peggy let out a deep sigh and began to clean up, she placed the broken plates and dishes in the bin; she also cleaned up the blood and salvaged what she could of their first aid kit. Peggy checked in on Steve who’d fallen asleep on top of his bed with his clothes still on but she didn’t have the heart to wake him so she just smiled at shut the door. 

~

“Steve!” Natasha shouted as she ran into his apartment, Peggy had fallen asleep on the sofa after she’d cleaned up and the sudden noise startled her awake. 

“He’s asleep.” 

“What’s going on?” Clint asked from Natasha’s side. Peggy glanced at the clock which read seven-thirty and sat up before rubbing her hands over her face. 

“I’m going to get a drink and I will gladly tell you.” Peggy made a fresh pot of coffee and poured three. Clint was incredible grateful for the caffeine but Natasha wasn’t interested in a drink until she knew what was happening. She’d been woken in on her vacation and given some pretty unbelievable news, now she was home and wanted answers. Clint had told her countless times on the flight home to relax but that was never going to happen.

Peggy took a sip of her coffee before telling them what had happened the previous night, she made sure to include everything and not miss out one single detail. No one really knew what to say afterwards it was too surreal. 

“How?” Clint asked after a moment but Peggy just shrugged.

“Like I said, he was unconscious when we got here, there was blood everywhere and it was all too much of a shock to really think.”

“I can imagine,” Clint agreed as he took a sip of his coffee which Peggy had made them. He was pretty exhausted, after he ended the call with Peggy, he’d began to pack while Natasha had grumbled about kicking ass and something about assassinations. She wasn’t pleased and hadn’t said much on their plane ride home either. Clint completely understood but he can’t deny he was quite sceptical too but after hearing it all and looking in her eyes there was no doubt it was all true.

“How does someone who’s presumed dead come back after three years with a bleeding abdomen and a prosthetic arm?” Natasha asked as she stared at the photo frame of the coffee table which had one of the last photos they’d taken before Bucky left. He was on the far right of the photo with his arm around Steve, they both had the largest grins on their faces but Steve had a certain look of adoration which he was sending Bucky’s way. Next to Steve was Natasha who was mockingly pulling a pouty face and Clint with his cheek pressed against hers as he stuck his tongue out. Each one of them had a version of this photo, Steve and Bucky had this one, Natasha had one in her and Clint’s bedroom and Clint has a smaller version in his wallet that he thought no one knew about.

“I have no idea but we’ll find out.” Clint promised as he squeezed her hand in a comforting gesture.

“Hey guys,” Steve said from the door, he looked bizarrely better than any of them had expected. He stood beside Peggy and poured himself a coffee from the fresh pot. He was still in his light brown trousers and white, short sleeved shirt from the night before. His hair also remained unbrushed and his eyes told the story of his troubled sleep.

“How you feeling?” Nat asked but Steve nodded.

“I’m fine, he’s the one I’m worried about.” 

“What did the doctor’s say?”

“Not much, just that they think he’ll be fine. I was going to go today but,” They were cut off by the phone ringing. Peggy grabbed it from its station which was to her left and put it to her ear. 

“Yes, okay, thank you. Yes, we’ll be there.” She ended the call and placed it back before she spoke. “They don’t know how or why but he’s awake.”

“They said he was critical,” Steve said with a frown. He was out cold eight hours ago but he was now awake, that didn't settle right with Steve, it all seemed too weird for his liking but he pushed these thoughts away and moved to go change. He just wanted to hear Bucky's voice right now and make sure he was okay with his own eyes.

“I know, they said it was unexplainable but so is his return.” They waited for Steve to shower and get dressed before they piled into Peggy’s car to go to the hospital. No one knew quite what to say as they drove to the hospital. What could they say when they weren’t sure what to feel. Obviously relief and happiness were there, their friend had literally returned from the dead, in their eyes anyway and after three years of grieving. That is a given they would be happy but they were also confused. Very confused. Three years of silence and learning to live without him but here he was. It was surreal.  
They walked to the nurses station were a man in a coat, presumably a doctor was stood going over some notes and the cheery girl, Angie, was still there too.

“We’re here about, James Barnes.” Nat said as soon as they reached them, the man turned to face them and nodded in recognition. 

“Hi, I’m his doctor, my name is Doctor Banner.” He said as he held out his hand for all of them and shook them all individually. 

“How is he? Is he okay?” Steve rushed and Peggy grabbed his hand to comfort him. As she did, she didn’t miss the look Angie gave her or the way her eyes glanced down at their joined hands. 

“He’s fine, the bullet was removed and we managed to stop any bleeding but when he woke up he had no idea of what happened or anything else, for that matter.”

"He was shot!" Steve exclaimed, he'd seen the blood himself but he hadn't noticed it was a bullet wound. That being said, given the circumstances, he hadn't taken much notice of anything really.

“He has amnesia?” Clint asked at the same time Steve spoke. The pair of them shared a look of disbelief while Natasha shook her head slowly as if she was trying to deny all of this was happening.

“It seems that way, he knew his name but that’s all he could tell us. We were hoping some familiar faces might to do something to trigger a memory.” Doctor Banner explained as he motioned to them all with the glasses he’d removed.

“It’s worth a shot,” Nat said mechanically while he laced her fingers with Clint’s and gave them a squeeze. 

“Right, if you’d all like to follow me,” the doctor explained as he picked up Bucky’s case notes and lead them towards his room.

“I’m gonna do to the bathroom and get a drink before I join you, do you want anything?” Peggy asked but they all shook their heads and followed Doctor Banner while Peggy headed toward the bathroom. There was no queue to wait so she went quickly before finding a vending machine to get a drink from. The cup had almost filled to the top when she felt someone stood beside her.

It was Angie.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked with a concerned expression before placing a hand on her upper right arm to comfort her.

“Yeah, it’s just been an emotional couple of days,” Peggy assured her as she took the small cup from the two clips which held it in place.

“The amnesia guy, he’s a friend?” Angie was so sweet, she didn’t have her uniform on so she was going home and she’d been there since the night before but she’d stopped to talk to Peggy because she thought she seemed upset. 

“He is, it’s a long story but we never expected this,” 

“So, was he your boyfriend’s friend too or…?” Angie said casually but there was hint of something else in her tone too, something Peggy couldn’t quite pick up on.

“My boyfriend?”

“The small guy.”

“Steve? No, he’s my best friend but nothing more.” Peggy explained and Angie’s eyes which had a hint of tiredness in them, presumably from the night shift, suddenly brightened up slightly. 

“Oh, good.” Angie said but then her eye’s widened in horror when she realised what she’d said. “Oh fuck, I am so sorry, that wasn’t what I meant at all,” Peggy’s laughing cut her off from continuing with her apology.

“Don’t worry about it.” She smiled and it was like she only just realised how beautiful Angie was when her face broke out in a nervous smile. Peggy took a moment to appreciate how Angie looked in simple grey joggers and a pink hoodie, she still looked like some kind of angel and it made Peggy’s heart pick up speed. “I should probably let you get home,” Peggy said as she rubbed her sweaty palm on her jeans hoping Angie wouldn’t notice.

“Yeah but I hope to see you around sometime, English.” She said as she headed towards the exit which made Peggy’s head snap round so quickly she felt a sharp pain shoot up the back of her neck but she ignored the throbbing pain due to shock. 

“English?”

“Sorry, I, uh, I give everyone nicknames and it just seemed to fit.” Angie shrugged before leaving Peggy stood their thinking. Once she’d fully disappeared from view, Peggy rolled up her sleeve and gently ran her fingers over the markings on her arm. Angie was her soulmate, possibly, but she had no idea how to approach this situation. Maybe she’d ask Natasha at a more appropriate time.

~

“Mr Barnes?” Bucky was sat upright in the bed, with pillows behind him to hold him up but he looked okay. He wasn’t covered in blood or unconscious so that was good. He also appeared as through he had a shower but he hadn't shaved as the shadow of facial hair still covered his jaw. 

“Yeah?” his voice sounded like music to their ears, they’d all missed it so much and in the moment they all found it incredibly difficult to hold it together but they had to, for him.

“These are your friends, they’re here to see you.” Bucky looked to them all with vacant blue eyes. He stared as he tried to piece them together but nothing seemed to click. Steve took a deep breath as his friend's gaze passed over him, never had Bucky looked at him with that emptiness, not even when they'd first met. The emotion Bucky seemed to wear most often was the one he wore when they'd first met, coincidently and it was concern. 

“Sorry, I don’t…” he began but they already knew what he was going to say. 

He didn’t know them.

“It’s fine, take your time.” The doctor encouraged him with a soft tone and a reassuring smile. “Maybe if you guys introduced yourselves or something it might help,” 

“I’m Clint Barton, we’ve been friends for too long but it’s good to see you, Bucky.” 

“Huh?”

“Sorry, it’s a nickname,”

“Because I hated my name,” he said with a small smile. It was nervous but happy because he’d recalled something all on his own. He turned to looked at then all individually with a giddy expression because of the piece of information and it was truly adorable, it had the innocence of a child on Christmas morning which was, ironically, Bucky's favourite holiday.

“Yeah, that’s right.” Clint smiled before turning to Natasha. She gave Bucky a small smile but it wasn’t a happy one, even Bucky could tell as much.

“I’m Natasha, just call me Nat,” she shrugged awkwardly, she had no idea what to say to him and the atmosphere turned very uncomfortable. “Sorry, I just, we’ve been friends, best friends, for over ten years and introductions are just… weird.”

“I get it, I do.” She nodded to show she was grateful that he understood her discomfort but she said nothing else for a moment of thought.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Nat asked moving slightly closer to him followed by Clint and Steve.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, if that’s okay?” The doctor asked turning to Bucky. After all, they knew him but he had no idea who they were and he might not feel safe with them but he nodded to show he was fine with it. Although he didn't remember them, or anything, there was a certain feeling of comfort and happiness which wrapped themselves around him when he looked at the three people in his room. 

“I remember a bathroom and that’s all, they said I blackout in a bathroom but before that nothing.” 

“Is there anything you want to ask us?” Clint asked from his place beside Steve who was still shifting nervously.

“How did we meet?” 

“We were introduced through this guy, your best friend since childhood, and we’ve pretty much been inseparable since.” Clint explained and Steve flushed slightly.

“Since childhood?” Bucky had a small smile at that which made Steve feel less nervous. He’d never been nervous around Bucky until today.

“Yeah, you saved me from a bully.” 

“Happen a lot?” Bucky asked motioning to the faced bruise under his eye from his run in the previous week.

“Oh yeah, you would not have been happy about that,” Nat said from where she’s gently perched on the edge of Bucky’s hospital bed.

“I wouldn’t?” The felt more natural, they were just talking which felt nice and normal.

“No, he gets himself in all kinds of trouble trying to fix the world and you always jumped in to save his ass.” Clint laughed throwing his head back at the thought of Bucky not being pissed at Steve for fighting. Steve's cheeks continued to redden through the whole ordeal but none of them were deterred from telling the stories.

“Every fucking time you were there, you just knew he was in shit,” Nat smiled fondly before turning to look Bucky in the eye. “Would you mind terribly if I gave you a hug?” The question came as a surprise to everyone, including Natasha. Bucky only thought about it for a moment before he spoke.

“Umm, okay.” Nat leapt up and hugged him tightly. There was a moment of brief hesitation before Bucky put his arms around her to return the embrace.

“Don’t you dare leave us again, Barnes.” He muttered into the top of his head.

“I won’t.” Nat pulled back and really looked at him, he’d changed obviously but he was home. “Shit, you haven’t introduced yourself.”

“Right, best friend since childhood seems kind of long winded,” Bucky joked and Steve smiled before holding his hand out for Bucky to shake. 

“Right, I’m Steve,”

“Steve?” he asked as he clutched Steve’s hand with his right. There was a brief moment where everything felt good again until Steve felt the hand on his tightening, almost uncomfortably so. Steve tried to pull his hand away but it wouldn’t budge. Natasha and Clint frowned at one another at the look that had taken over Bucky’s expression. His face had shown confusion when they arrived but he’d smiled since then and spoke to them but now it was like a completely different person was there. His eyes were cold, determined and his lips had turned up in a sneer. They didn’t expect him to be the same as he was when he left but they arrived to see someone who was familiar. That was then but now it may as well have been a stranger.

“Bucky?”

“враг.” (Enemy) Natasha knew for a fact Bucky couldn’t speak Russian, she’s spent years insulting him in the language and enjoying the way he got frustrated about it but that was most definitely Russian.

“Bucky!” She shouted trying to get his attention but it wasn’t working, his steel gaze was fixed eerily on Steve. So she moved to plan B, she ran to get a nurse and the doctor while Clint tried to remove Steve’s small hand from the crushing grip.

“Nurse, get me a sedative!” Doctor Banner ordered as he joined in with Clint’s efforts to part them. It seemed like an eternity to Steve, who was in a lot of pain, but eventually a nurse came running in with a needle which had its contents pushed into Bucky’s arm. It took a moment to kick in but it did and Steve’s hand was free. “Take him to get that X-rayed.” The doctor ordered a nurse who led Steve out before he turned to question Natasha and Clint on what had happened once he’d left. After they’d told him the story, twice, he nodded and escorted them to the waiting area where Peggy was pacing. She’s heard Nat shout, the professionals run in and a moment or two later Steve come out of the room with an injured hand but she’d be told nothing.

“Natasha, what happened?”

“I don’t know, Peggy, I don’t know but whatever is going on it’s not good.” Bucky’s voice still echoed in her head, she couldn’t wrap her head around why Bucky thought he was his enemy. 

“Steve okay?” Clint asked her but she just shrugged.

“Only saw him come out and then go through there,” she explained motioning to the other set of double doors. They sat together in silence and waited for Steve to come out which he did eventually. His hand was bandaged up but it wasn’t in a cast so it wasn’t broken, thank god.

“Are you alright?” Peggy asked diving to her feet but Steve nodded.

“Just a sprain, they think it’s gonna be bruised but it’s not broken or fractured.” 

“Good, that’s good.” Natasha said but they all knew it was a lie. None of this was good, at all but nothing they could do would fix it right now so they decided it would be best to go home and get some rest. They all needed a good rest right about now.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you guys think? I'll try to update as soon as I can.


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